Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus teaches principles of conflict
How often do you wish someone had come to you to work through an issue rather than telling everyone else? How often have you told everyone else but the person involved?
Jesus lays out the process of keeping our relationships healthy. The first time I was taught this principle it was simple referred to as the Matthew 18 Principle. Jesus tells his disciples that when you have a conflict go straight to that person. This is hard because we are afraid on conflict, so we avoid it. Then to make it worse we recruit others to agree with us against that person. What person are you struggling to love? First, go to that person and work through things. Before you speak ask these questions:
Is it a desire to live at peace that motivates you? Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." If you are not motivated by love, then check you heart and ask why you are hurting?
When you speak to them, can you speak from the perspective of love? Is what you are saying true? Ephesians 4:15 "But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ".
Have you prayed about about it? When we speak to each other and seek reconciliation, it has eternal impact. Here are Peter's instructions on this matter; 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins."
Now what do you do if they unwilling to deal with this issue? Jesus says that if they won't hear you out, then find a third party to help you through the conflict. This would need to be a person who is neutral towards you both and that you both know and respect. If they won't listen, then it may be necessary to set appropriate boundaries in place for both of you so you don't hurt each other. Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."
Are you prepared to forgive?
Matthew 18:21-35 Forgiveness.
Jesus says that we are to forgive our brother 70 times 7. This is an infinite number of times. He then tells a parable about a debt forgiven. That debt represents the priceless debt you owe to God that was paid by the blood of Jesus. Jesus compares that debt to the debt that people around us may have toward us. If we don't forgive these small debts in comparison to God's grace, then God will use that measure against us. We are called to hold each other accountable and live at peace with each other. To live at peace with God requires that we live at peace with our brothers and sisters. Worship and forgiveness are intricately woven together. Reconciliation is not just a suggestion, its a commandment. Look how seriously Jesus takes this issue.
Matthew 5:23 "So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift."
Here is the heart question; Are you upset with someone because they confronted you about an issue in your life? Are you living with bitterness because of something someone has done or said? Bitterness has the power to destroy. Hebrews 12:14 "Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble."
To be a disciple we must pursue peace with God and love for our neighbors.
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